Condensation: Not Just For Coasters

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I observed the dog that could only be described as the brownest and shaggiest dog a grown person could have ever seen in their entire existence on this Earth heading in a south eastern direction down the middle of the two-lane asphalt coated road toward a distant horizon only he could see at an accelerated pace that showed the urgency as to which he fled from his previous destination.

The shaggy brown dog ran down the street.

I feel that the two sentences convey the same crucial pieces of information. The word to focus on in this sentence is crucial. As I would have to admit that the more flared and dramatic speech can make an essay more interesting, it can also succeed in making it word and possibly a touch pretentious. I would admit that I could be accused of doing this very thing; I try to remain objective and dial back the “fancy talk”. Honestly what I would do would be to split the first sentence into two separate sentences. I would use the first sentence to tell what the dog is doing and introduce it as a character, and then with the second sentence I would add some description